Updated: Sep 7, 2019
Unruly aims to create a community of boss babe women. This is a platform where women can connect, share, and find their tribe! It’s undeniable that this younger generation is so much more than a Pretty Young Thing, they have powerful ideas that are resonating, connecting communities, and shifting culture. So in the spirit of this movement, Unruly will put increase visibility around these young boss babes and create a path for others to follow in their footsteps. Each month, Unruly will select a blog guest to blog openly about the challenges and the triumphs of young women today. Get ready for a major dose of inspiration as we introduce Aja Narie.
Let’s start with introductions, who are you and what’s the quick rundown on your backstory? My name is Aja Narie, I'm a 23 year old mom to a 5 year old named Harper Marie. I recently graduated with a psychology degree at Drexel University in Philadelphia. I am the creator and founder of my brand and blog ajanarie.com. I find myself sharing all things lifestyle. Today, I will share some my story and life hacks so we can all be great together! There is room for every single one of us to win, so please use Unruly's platform as a way to learn from others including myself, and I will do the same.
Can you tell us about your story and why how you manage to live your best life?
I had a baby young, and one thing my mom warned me during my pregnancy is that I was going to lose the ability to really live my 20’s and do anything at the drop of a dime. I learned that quickly, and I told her that now more than ever it clicked for me. I love being a mom, but there were moments that I felt stuck that I couldn’t just up and do whatever like my friends who have no kids! I’m 22, I’ve yet to experience the world, or really do much honestly, right now my life revolves around raising Harper and school but then I had a moment! I realized I was blocking my own blessings which were that my daughter and I have a legit support system. For the longest, I relied on my mom only, but as of lately I began to really rely on my daughters’ dad and both of our families. It wasn’t up until the last two months that I truly learned to co-parent and wow… The weight that is lifted off my shoulders is crazy. We were always capable of communicating, but it wasn’t until recently that I had to tell myself that he is apart of my life FOR LIFE and that he is my family now through my daughter. Now, we currently have a super healthy relationship, we’ve overcome all negative things we went through and actually talked about it, and I joke that he is my best friend because it really does feel like it. Despite everything, what we built initially was off a friendship, and I look at him as one of my closest friends, and I’m so glad that we’ve finally reached this point in our lives where we can raise our daughter together without being together! It took 4 years, but I rather 4 years than anything longer. So many of you ask for tips on co-parenting and I really have avoided the topic because I’m still learning, but I think what finally got us to this point was that we realized: no matter how I feel or how he feels, our daughter needs two parents who are happy, support one another, love each other and can let her see that. It’s healthy and honestly, normal. I’m super proud of how far we’ve come, and I can honestly say I’ve never been more appreciative of that man!
Aside from that, I really dived into relationships with his family as well. At the end of the day, I need them, and I’m super grateful that I was blessed to be put into a situation where I have so many people willing to be there not only for my daughter but for me. I’m pretty sure I express my gratitude every chance I get, and I’m sure it’s annoying, but I’ve reached this point in my life where I want everyone to know how much I appreciate them because I recently learned how short life is. I think in this new day and age, we often overlook the idea that we don’t just say to our loved ones “thank you, it means the world to me that you support me, I appreciate you!” and I noticed that flaw in myself and really enforce it in all my relationships now.
Lately, I’ve been super emotional and sentimental, and I think it is because I feel happier than ever. I still have my days where I feel like the odds are stacked against me, but more often I sit and think “wow, my life is amazing.” I have finally gotten to that point in my life where I’m content with the speed I’m living, with what I’ve accomplished, my friends, my family, everything! I now look at all my losses as win’s regardless of what happened because they make me who I am. As a young adult, I’ve decided to cut off all dead weight that didn’t help me flourish, and while it may have hurt the opposing person, I told myself I need to stop living for other’s emotions because no one lived for mine (except my mom, shout out to her). I guess realistically, I began being selfish. Sounds crazy but it’s the best decision I made. The one thing you can’t get back in life is your time, and I just was tired of giving my time to things that didn’t help me flourish, prosper or even make me the woman I need to be.
I began to focus on ME. I wanted to feed my soul, I aimed to change my mindset and become someone I use to wish I could be. I began to just live in the moment. Recently, I literally laugh to the point I’m crying more than once a week lol. I started writing in a journal on super “dear diary,” vibes because I was tired of going to sleep and my brain continually running. I don’t care if I was crying or smiling ear to ear, I wrote whatever was on my mind on paper. Often, it was me noticing where I went wrong and how to avoid it in the future and sometimes it was me realizing I’m worried about the wrong things. But, ending a few nights out my week with confessionals have made me into a different person. What really changed me is that at the end of my confessionals I would write what I’m grateful for in that exact moment. This all goes back to not showing gratitude and putting it on paper in ink made me really look at my life and be sooooooo grateful. Then to end my writings, I would write what I’m currently seeking. Whether it be peace of mind, something general or something specific it had to go on paper! I had to teach myself to manifest the life I want and speak everything into existence and honestly, not only did I manifest this current state of my life, I worked hard for it. I would take a picture of it on my phone and every night before I went to sleep I would read aloud what I was seeking. I just want you to know most of my short term aspirations and goals have been given to me 10 fold. Crazy…
Any last words for the Unruly Tribe?
I’m sure this all seems crazy and isn’t really advice so to say, but I hope reading about me building myself up you realize that sometimes we just need to take the back seat and let the universe do all the work. We aren’t in control as much as we would like to think we are. But surrounding yourself with positive vibes, positive interactions, healthy relationships. Life is so amazing when you only focus on the good because I think we as people often only pay attention to the negative things and when that happens we dwell on it. Take the time to drop that bad habit and reverse your mentality. It truly makes all the difference. Thank you to everyone reading and everyone that played a role in this new shift. I love you and wish nothing but the best for you, always. I’m on my grown woman vibe, and I’m living my best life for real! Off and on Instagram. That’s goals.